The Magic of The Incredible Years:

Effortlessly transform negative behaviors to positive ones.

In 1982, while I was still working as a nurse practitioner, my husband David formed a partnership with Carolyn Webster-Stratton to produce videotapes for a new parent education program called The Incredible Years.

By lighting the set and darkening the rest of the studio, he created the illusion of a normal playroom, living room or kitchen, so that even though the cameras were visible, the children were oblivious. What I saw in those unrehearsed scenes absolutely captivated me. Carolyn used a small radio receiver, about the size of a hearing aid, to whisper instructions to the mothers during the videotaping. The parents and children would play normally until they were completely relaxed and natural.

In one scene, Carolyn instructed a dad to read the newspaper. I watched in fascination as the children tried out an escalating series of strategies in an attempt to recapture their father’s attention. The oldest of two children became uncertain of what to do next in the play and begin asking his father questions about whether they needed a sun.  In another scene, a young child kept asking his dad to “check this out.”  Finally, after the third attempt to get his father’s attention, the child turned to the cameraman and said:  “Look at it.”  In yet another scene, where a mother is reading the newspaper, the child tries to get the mom to look at what his animal did.  When that fails, he whispers to her, “I love you.”  And, when this fails, he finally bites her hand with his puppet.  In each of these cases, Carolyn gently coached the parents in how to reverse the process, establishing appropriate boundaries and reconnecting with their children. It seemed almost magical.

In 1988, our daughter Jennifer was born, and I put my career in health care on hold. When she was very young, I picked up the thread of child development and parent effectiveness that had intrigued me so much when I saw Carolyn work. By 1991, I was leading parent education groups based on How To Talk So Kids Will Listen.  Later, my parenting education groups evolved into teaching The Incredible Years.

The Incredible Years Parenting Programs.  This research-based curriculum is unique in that it focuses on parenting children between the ages of two years and eight years and is sensitive to the needs and issues of young children, as well as their developmental ages and stages. The scenes in the videotapes are classic and timeless. They afford parents a rare opportunity to observe and learn skills in a manner usually offered only to professionals.